|
Solitary lighthouse life was often very difficult for single keepers assigned to one-keeper stations. There are many stories of keepers struggling to find any woman who would be willing to marry them and live away from their families in these isolated circumstances.
At Esopus Meadows Lighthouse offshore in the Hudson River near Port Ewen, New York, keeper Manuel Resendes found himself in the same predicament. Manny had just finished a stint as head keeper at a three-keeper station at Greens Ledge Lighthouse in Connecticut, but by May of 1936, he had transferred to the “Maid of the Meadows” where he would serve until 1944.
The story has always been told that Manny was very lonely there, so a marriage was arranged for him with the youngest daughter of the Hilden family who lived just up the hill on shore from the lighthouse. It was said that 18-year-old Ellie (Elsie) Hilden did not really want to marry 36-year-old Manny, but that her family talked her into it, and six months later, in January of 1937, Ellie became Manny’s wife and joined him at the lighthouse.
After marriage, Manny purportedly spent his time at the horse races and left Ellie alone to take care of the lighthouse on her own. Supposedly, he eventually abandoned her altogether and disappeared, never to return, leaving her in an impoverished state. At least that was her side of the story that has been perpetuated for the past 70 years.
However, letters written from Manny to Ellie’s sister, Lillian, have now come to light that give a totally different story as told from his point of view. They help to present a much more balanced perspective to the relationship and the real facts that probably lie somewhere in the middle.
As with all word-of-mouth stories, there is usually an element of truth in them that can be interpreted differently, depending on who is telling them. It was a known fact that keepers at Esopus Meadows and other Hudson River light stations would come ashore to find seasonal work in the winter months when the river froze over, and there was no reason to have the light going due to the lack of river traffic. During the summers, keepers would sometimes leave during the daytime to help with the local fruit harvest to generate some extra income as well.
In 1903, an inspector wrote a negative report on Esopus Meadows keeper George R. Humphrey for neglecting his duties, being absent frequently, and leaving the lamps dirty. He was cautioned to be more attentive, but instead of improving his work habits, he opted to resign from service.
In the case of Manuel Resendes, according to his own written account, he went ashore to do shopping and get supplies for the lighthouse because he thought Ellie “couldn’t do her own shopping” let alone “stock a lighthouse... So me and my shadow had to do it.”
This seems to be borne out by the impression of Ellie’s great-nieces and great-nephews who today remember her from three decades ago as being a very unsophisticated person, living a very “simple life” filled with her family and her animals, and that she said “golly gee” a lot.
It also seems highly unlikely that Manny, having been a responsible head keeper with assistants under him prior to coming to Esopus Meadows, would have entirely neglected his duties or left Ellie alone to deal with the light for days on end. It is further unlikely that Ellie, being so young with no previous experience, would know what to do or be capable of handling any difficult situation that might arise with the equipment during the daily operation and maintenance of the light.
Regarding their arranged marriage, Manny wrote, “She had no desire for me in the first place. Married me under, say, a sympathetic gesture or what[ever] it was. I seen [sic] that from the start... Could I help it if [I was] given the so-called attention that makes one feel welcome to [be] seen at any time. So it was my fault? I warned and told her time and again I was too old for her. She wouldn’t take no for an answer. So that was more encouragement.
“So we carried on and courted until the day I say kidnapped her. You said that you cannot force people to live with you, well I surely didn’t force her to marry me. It wasn’t a gun-shot marriage.”
From Ellie’s perspective, life at the lighthouse was not easy, and not just in her relationship with Manny. She gave a video interview in 1997 where she recounted some of her experiences. She noted that, “It was all hard work to me… I didn’t want to go at all but my mother said he needs help, you’d better go. So, I mean, it was no love affair.”
That was an interesting statement, given the fact that she later admitted in the same interview that she never did any cooking – Manny did it all. At that time, they had a wood stove in the Esopus Meadows Lighthouse kitchen and he used to cut up the driftwood for fuel. So, if she were there to help him, it certainly didn’t include the normal lighthouse wife’s main domestic task of making their daily meals.
Ellie talked about the harshness of the winter and thickness of the ice back then. She said Manny had to knock the forming ice down off the rip rap daily with a type of sledge hammer to prevent it from getting too high.
Ellie used to enjoy skating on the ice and reminisced that one time, “I came in over the ice and I was on my skates and my dad said to me, ‘Always pull a ladder along in case you go through the ice so you can get yourself out.’ And I was not too far from shore when pow, I went right through and it was in January and boy was it cold. So, I struggled to get myself back out and then the neighbor, an elderly man, he came down and he had a little glass of wine and he said, ‘Here take this. That’ll make you feel better.’” She came up to her parent’s house to get warm and never went back to the lighthouse that night.
In 1944, Manny finished his service at Esopus Meadows Lighthouse. It isn’t known exactly what job he had thereafter, but in a letter written by him in 1949, he used letterhead from the home insulation division of the John-Manville Sales Corporation in Poughkeepsie; and in 1952, there was an ad in a local Kingston paper for Manny to demonstrate and sell the Lemos Electrolysis Machine in nearby Ulster Park.
As for Manny deserting Ellie and disappearing, in 1949, after 12 years of marriage, Ellie was the one who ran away unannounced. Manny wrote a series of letters to her sister Lillian, who at that time lived in the Bronx, asking for information concerning Ellie’s whereabouts and giving details about her departure. Manny claimed that she had picked a fight just so she could leave him. She wrote him en route to California where she was going to stay with friends, and she said that she “left everything she loves behind to get away from being a nervous wreck.”
Manny wrote that he knew their marriage was over at that point, but that, “I at least tried to keep my marriage vows, to love and cherish. Did she from the start? It was almost a crime to love her or something….I tried and even told her it wasn’t any good for both of us….Even told her I should get away as we just couldn’t get along. But I’m still here. She isn’t.”
The marriage ended shortly thereafter, and Manny remained in the Port Ewen area. Ellie eventually came home and returned to her family home up on the hill. Her father, who was a mason by trade, built a home for her on their land in 1952. A letter from Ellie’s brother-in-law Hiram, written that year, mentions that Ellie’s then boyfriend, Ken Miller, helped to take a piano over to Ellie’s house to put in her parlor. Hiram observed that, “She does look and feel a thousand percent better now that she is separated.”
The same letter also mentions that Manny had gotten stuck in a pond and their friend had helped to pull him out, which further proves his remaining in the area after the split. However, it is unknown about what became of Manny Resendes after that date. It is quite possible that he left the area altogether and went back to Connecticut or even back to Portugal.
For the rest of her life, Ellie’s extended family remembers her as being happy and contented, loved and cared for sufficiently, making handmade rugs from bread bags to give away, and spending a lot of time taking care of her pets and even the many animals belonging to John Kerr, the next lighthouse keeper who followed Manny at Esopus Meadows.
Ken Miller stayed with Ellie for the next 32 years until his death in 1985. He and Ellie are buried together, and under Ken’s name, it says “Dear Friend” above Ellie’s. Ellie Hilden Resendes died in 2005 at the age of 87.
Just like many marriages today that end in separation or divorce, there is always the “he said - she said” side of things. It is nice to finally have Manny’s account, from his own writings, of the events and reasons behind them, even though it took 70 years for them to surface. It helps to balance out the scales in documenting his dealings with the “Maid of the Meadows” in a more reputable way concerning him.
This story appeared in the
Sep/Oct 2019 edition of Lighthouse Digest Magazine. The print edition contains more stories than our internet edition, and each story generally contains more photographs - often many more - in the print edition. For subscription information about the print edition, click here.
All contents copyright © 1995-2024 by Lighthouse Digest®, Inc. No story, photograph, or any other item on this website may be reprinted or reproduced without the express permission of Lighthouse Digest. For contact information, click here.
| 